Little Darling

Today I have a song for you. A lullaby I wrote after Norah was born and in the hospital for 60 days.  This song is for her.  This song is for all mamas.  This song is for all children.  This song is for you. 

 

Little Darling

How do you do my baby?
How do you do today?
How do you do little darling,
on this Beautiful day?

Did you stay warm my baby?
Did you stay warm today?
Did you stay warm little darling,
when cold winter blues filled your day?

When the winter wind is here
I'll hold you by my side
when the evening lasts too long
I'll entertain you all night long

What do you need my baby?
What do you need today?
What do you need little darling,
to hide all your troubles away.

What can I give you baby?
What can I give you today?
What can I give little darling.
to melt all your worries away?

When the springtime rain is here
I'll keep you warm and dry
when the rainclouds last too long
I'll entertain you all day long

When you grow my baby.
When you grow old some day.
When you grow old little darling
I'll love you just the same.

A Time Frame Comparison: So... What's Changed?!

Everybody tells you that your life is going to change dramatically when you have a baby.  I beg to differ...

I spent five years and thousands of dollars to earn a degree that I am no longer using. Yes, I am a college graduate, and what I really gained from that time of my life is way beyond a paper diploma.  Before attending my first semester, I assumed college would teach me academics and prepare me for "the real world."  HA!  I am glad the bubble I was living in at that time has been popped. Don't get me wrong, I did learn elementary math and figured out that I could use my bus pass for years to come. I did learn some life skills that many people gain in their early twenties: independence being a big one. I also figured out that your health can change instantly.  And that people who you think love you can break you in your most vulnerable state only to make you stronger.  I balanced three jobs, sixteen credits, endless hours of music making, and at that time, a checkbook.  Who balances those anymore?!   I did find time to socialize. Who am I kidding... I made time. It is what kept me sane, and turned me insane.  Those of you who have lived the college lifestyle know that it can be financially, mentally, and emotionally stressful at times. Life can feel exhausting, exciting, terrifying and gratifying all in the same moment.  And in a blink of an eye, it can all change.  There are nights when you don't sleep, times when you try and try and try to accomplish anything, and fail.  There are days filled with joy, laughter, growth, love, and success. Life spirals with its ups and downs but you wouldn't trade it for anything.  It is all part of life as a college student. 

I spent seven months pregnant, two months in the hospital and racked up thousands of dollars in medical bills.  Yes, I am a parent, and what I really gain from that is way more than the title of mom.  Before having a child, I assumed my life would instantly change the moment that little beauty entered our earth.  Don't get me wrong, there was a definite shift biologically and an instinctual transformation, and my heart grows with each beat.  I have figured out how to cook meals with one hand and I am pretty sure I can get an award for entertainer of the year... at least the look on baby's face sure says that anyway! I balance three jobs, a household, endless hours of creating, performing, singing, and keep a close eye on my bank account.  I find time for myself.  Who am I kidding... I make time for myself.  It is what keeps me sane, and sometimes turns me insane.  Those of you who live the parent lifestyle know that it can be financially, mentally, and emotionally stressful at times.  Life can feel exhausting, exciting, terrifying and gratifying all in the same moment.  And in a blink of an eye, it can all change.  There are nights whey you don't sleep, times when you try and try and try to accomplish anything, and fail.  There are days filled with joy, laughter, growth, love, and success. Life spirals with its ups and downs but you wouldn't trade it for anything. It is all part of life as a parent.

So, what's changed?  The easier question to answer is: What's the same?

Answer: 

Taking care of room mates in a cluttered house on little sleep. :)

Lake Michigan Sunset
photo by Charity Huot Benedict

Reflections From A Teacher

Ahhhh, elementary school; land of active learning! Can you recall the memorable days of exploration through art projects? Team building skills through kick ball games? Learning to take turns with friends at recess playing lightning at the basketball hoop? Preparing for tests with jeopardy and memory? Music classes, multiple times a week?! Dressing up on Halloween? Class parties? I could go on and on about the skills that I learned through all the fun I had.   I wish that was the case for todays generation...

As a former elementary school teacher of a short (long) 6 years, I sit back as summer approaches remembering all of the excitement that comes with the end of the school year. Your class of little learners just spent nine months of their lives growing mentally, emotionally and physically in your care. You have invested your heart, soul, money, time, and love into these children and they are about to move onto a new phase in their journey. As their teacher, you hope to goodness you have done the best you can for each individual, and wish them an awesome summer as you give them a hug or high five as they walk out your door. Your eyes might get watery, because you will miss them, you are exhausted, and you are overwhelmed with the amount of work you have to finish. All at the same time, you are preparing for your summer school class about to walk in your door in a week... got to pay those student loans somehow!

Teachers have super powers. Some teachers have multiple sets of eyes. Some have multiple hearts or multiple hands. Others have an inner well that overflows with wisdom or patience. Others are telepathic. To teach, to care for a full classroom, to multi- task, you are granted, earn, and learn these skills along the way. It takes a person with superpowers to be a teacher.

The statements are true: School isn't what it used to be. Kids are growing up too fast.

In a quickly changing world flooded with technology and diversity, our younger generations aren't getting what they need from our schools. It is a trickle affect from the head offices to the classroom. Yes, the students are cared for, but everyone is too focused on test scores and number crunching and funds. Not everybody wants to be, that's just how it goes.  Too much pressure.  I have worked in private schools and in schools with 99% poverty. It is a similar story all around. One thing I know for sure is that parents love their children! Stop blaming the parents, stop blaming the students, stop blaming the teachers! Start communicating and building relationships to better the educational experience for all involved.

I am now on a different career path. Why? (How much time do you have to listen?) Balance. Extremes. Expectations.

I am a believer in balance, or strive for balance in life. It is difficult to achieve that as a teacher. If you are part time, you actually work full time. If you are full time, the teachers I have taught with work way beyond that. Emails, phone calls, planning, prepping, grading, creating and more is taken home at night, on the weekends, and over the summer. Balance?

Teaching is extreme. After two years of teaching at a private (Catholic) school, I was told by signing my next contract I was also signing to abide by the rules of the church. That doesn't affect how I teach. Teachers teach for several reasons, and religious or political beliefs shouldn't be a factor when educating a child. So, I chose to move onto a different job that appreciated my skills rather then wondered what I was doing after hours. (even though many of those hours included making classroom tools while enjoying a glass of wine.)

My last two years of teaching, I was in a district where recess was taken away at one school I taught at, and kindergarteners were expected to follow a schedule (to the minute) at another. I would love to see someone from the district try to teach a room full of 23 five year olds for an entire day. Especially when some of these kiddos didn't have dinner, or were going through family crisis, or had a learning disability, or someone just peed their pants. Come on! Balance? Kids need it too. Extremes?

Expectations. Why are there so many? We need guidelines and rules and agreements and yes, a few expectations, I understand. But when the growing minds of children are pushed all year to pass one week of tests, and sit calmly all day, and reach unrealistic milestones, and follow a minute to minute schedule, it becomes a little nuts. What about when a shy student finally stands up to read a paragraph they wrote? Or you see two children solving a math problem together? Or the child whose parent just passed away jumped rope for the first time? Self discovery is such an important life skill. The problem is, there isn't time for that! Where is the creativity and flexibility in our schools? It continues to become less and less. Don't even get me started on the expectations of teachers...

There are moments when I miss seeing the lightbulb go off in a students head. There are times when I miss collaborating with all those super power teachers or connecting with the parents who want to see their child grow, shine, and work hard. But teaching isn’t what I thought it was going to be. Maybe I am too much of a free spirited being to fit the mold of todays four wall classroom. And maybe not. I do believe we have lost many wonderful teachers who have switched career paths. But for those in the heat of it, teachers, students, and parents, embrace yet another year of amazing accomplishments. There are a plethora outside of those darn tests!

Photo by Charity Huot Benedict 

Season of Rebirth

as the ice melts away and the branches start to freely breathe

the earth awakens

as the bulbs break through the dirt and water slowly trickles

the earth awakens

feet grip the stirring ground

eyes spy the growing tulips

faces embrace the energy of the wind

and the rain washes away the stale winter mood

walk amongst the trees as the weeping willow waves

signs of Spring awaken

walk along the river and she flows with human pace

signs of Spring awaken

hibernation goes to rest

trees yawn and stretch out buds of freshness

lakes start to sway and wade and splash

and the sun stays awake long enough to greet the moon

it's the time of year to shed stagnant skin

to break the shell of frozen consciousness

to un-mask stunning beauty

to reveal

as the season transforms and the birds start to sing

our sleepy souls awaken

as the light returns and we inhale gratefulness

our sleepy souls awaken

may we plant seeds of gentle kindness in our inner soil

sprout seedlings of peace that grow leaves of acceptance

grow deep roots of strength with kindred tenderness

let the petals of universal rebirth blossom

and flourish in the widespread color that is sown

Rebirth
photo by: Charity Huot Benedict 

Beating the Winter Whine

Any of us living in what feels like the arctic tundra may be experiencing static cling, dry skin, short days, frozen nose hairs, dead car batteries, and a repetitive schedule that may sound like a broken record.  Believe me, winters in Minnesota can drive the most free spirited and adventurous of souls crazy. But somehow these characteristics make us stronger and proud to be living in the coldest places during the longest months.   There does come a time however, when our feet get stuck and our minds follow.  Do you find yourself feeling bored of your routine with the dead winter blues? 

I simply start each day with 1 goal and hope to feel slightly renewed before my head hits the pillow. Actually doing something different, physical, mind carving, and unfamiliar can boost my endorphins and give me a fresh outlook on the ice covered streets I walk day in and day out. 

So, to remind myself to warm up as the cold lingers, I have created a list of things that I have tried when my days and nights collide into a frozen winter halt. My bucket list of to-do's continues to lengthen, but these little things I have checked off the list have lead to some of the greatest adventures I have experienced.   Some are recent and some from years passed.  But they have helped me see the potential awards that winter can actually offer.  Don't just sleep the day away or sit there and watch endless episodes and seasons on Netflix... well, once in a while that sounds lovely... get out there and explore.

Do them.  Share them.  Create your own.  Set a goal.  Conquer a new task. Take a risk.  Live.  

~ Pick up an instrument, learn a few chords and notes, and call your friends to make some music.  You will discover a connection, a sound, or a memory to hold onto. 

~Write a letter or a thank you note to an old friend.  Long live snail mail! 

~ Learn to knit or crochet.  It passes time and keeps you warm. Win win. 

~Find a new recipe and try something you have never eaten.  There is nothing like a yummy taste explosion.  

~Support local music.  What do you think Musicians do when it's so cold out?  Get out there and hear some new tunes.

~Volunteer at a place you want to be.  There are great communities all around you to be a part of.  I love the Cedar Cultural Center!

~Try out a class at a fitness center. I have been practicing Nia... love it.  The power and energy in that class is compelling.

~ Snowshoe, ski, skate, snowboard.  Embrace the cold.

~Book club, beer buddies, wine and bitch, laugh and craft... whatever you want to call it.  Join or start a group.  Socialize.

~ Sign up for a class. I enjoyed classes at The Loft.  A writer's gotta write. 

~Grow a plant.  Green thumb or not, it gives you a bit of life in the dead of winter. 

~ Play Dates.  Make the effort to hang out with your friends and children.  How about mixing happy hour and Sesame Street? Sounds relaxing and educational.

~Build a bonfire.  What is better then smoke in your eyes, your clothes smelling like fire,  and a cold ass as the front of your body heats up?  But really, it is calming and mesmerizing. 

~Have a dance party in the living room. Let it all go. 

~ Bundle up and go for a walk.  Just do it. 

~ Start a project.  PINTEREST! 

~Photography.  Dust off your camera and spend an hour taking photos.  I enjoy making photo books and calendars with my pictures.  

~Play Cards. Hearts is where it's at.  

~Travel.  It is a holistic life experience. I'm not sure which was more memorable:  rafting the Grand Canyon or Living in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.  

~Call your grandparents.  They would love to hear your voice.

~Take a hot bath or a sauna.  Ahhhhhhhh, the heat!

~ Dinner Party.  Pick a theme and have each friend bring part of the meal.  I'll bring the wine! 

~Start a blog.  Get the juices in your brain flowing through the inter-web.  Someone is interested in what you have to say. 

~Write a song.  Even if it's for your kids.  I need to get going on album number 3! 

~Laugh.  Learn a new joke, read The Onion, or tune into Jimmy Fallon.  Laughing is my favorite! 

Climbing on Ice- Lake Superior

You DO have time to try something new and refreshing. Even if it is a couple minutes a day or week.  Make the best of the winter because before you know it,  you will be outdoors in the middle of 90 degree and humid weather.  You will be wishing for a blast of cold air! 

Climbing on Ice- Lake Superior