I know I am not the only parent that is about to lose all wits before 9:00am some days. Many mornings, I actually wake up refreshed as though I am a blend of Claire Huxtable and Mary Poppins. But after the "getting ready" routine turns into a skipping broken record, and coffee is spilt on the floor while pants are peed and keys can't be found while children are fighting, I am pretty much the Wicked Witch of the (mid)West. Sound familiar?! If not... stop reading!
As a long time yogi, yoga teacher of five years, and former elementary school teacher, you would think I would have the tools to stay calm and follow the yellow brick road to continue on this parenting journey smoothly. I do! The problem is, I forget to pull them out of the box sometimes.
As a new season approaches, it is my goal to use my own tools that I have collected and used through the years. And to use them before I am melting, melting... melting. (Insert image of wicked witch) How is it that I forget to do it with my own family, when I do it daily with other people around me?! I find it true that we let our guard down most at home. If we can't do it there, where else can we let go, unwind, release, and have a freak-out-moment? We try our best and hold it all together while we are at our jobs and out in the community, home should be a safe place to throw it all down. I need to remember that for my children too...
So, as a refresher to myself, and hopefully helpful to other parents out there, and so my children don't hear a door slam, here are my top 12 go-to's. These are some helpful tricks, tools, and tips to get us ready to take on our little humans who need us from when we wake up, to the intense moments, to the moments before bed.
1. Get up a few minutes early to do something that fills you up. Maybe its a cup of coffee, or a run, or meditation, or staring off blankly... you do you!
2. MUSIC! If we are all losing it at my house, we put on music. Sometimes its a random dance party. Sometimes I play the kids favorite songs over the stereo. Sometimes I pull out an instrument and sing. Our new favorite game is "name that tune" by humming a song we all know and have to guess it. Music is the answer. It changes the whole energy and vibe... for the better! It always helps.
3. Snack Attack! I will actually yell out SNACK ATTACK, and we will stop what we are doing, and have a small snack. It's a pause in the action. And if behaviors are high, sometimes it is because they are hungry. I am so thankful for snacks and food. What a treat.
4. Walk Away. I tell my kids "I need to walk away now because I need a break." I need a timeout. It is the truth. I need to gather my shit and pull up my bootstraps so I can handle it. Sometimes I silently scream, or hit a pillow, or rest in child's pose and breathe, or do a handstand against the wall to flip my perspective, or check social media, or text someone... it all helps depending on the day. Just walk away.
5. Throw, hit, or kick something. For real, chuck a ball outside. Kick a ball. Hit a drum. Have a throwing, kicking, drumming contest to see who can do it the farthest, the highest, who can balance it on their head... it is a great release. Just don't throw, kick, or hit it at each other.
6. Yoga and Movement. For us, rolling out our mats and doing yoga poses, songs, and games helps immensely. Check out my Spotify (Charity Huot Benedict) for handfuls of kids yoga playlists to use. I also find that walks, bike rides, or any way to physically move your body boosts the endorphins and can prevent meltdowns. (For all parties involved.)
7. Balloons, bubbles, and breathing balls. Pull out the sticky messy bubbles and annoying balloons. Why?! Because it's breath work! Kids (and adults) are breathing and focusing and watching their breath move a bubble, or fill a balloon, or breathing along with a Hoberman sphere. It all calms the central nervous system.
8. BOOKS! SO MANY BOOKS! Books are always a tool, an option, and available. Alone or with someone. Get out of your own thoughts, and into literature. If one of my kiddos is freaking out, I always have a choice being "go sit on your bed with a book." It is a quiet safe place to have alone time, redirect, reconnect, or change a behavior. They're magic.
9. Change your tone. Whisper. Talk in an accent. Rap the words that need to be heard. Maybe yell, if you think it will work. But when you change up the way you communicate, it draws the kiddos in to hear you. To actually listen.
10. Alcohol! (for me, not the children.) Purely medicinal. And in moderation, of course.
11. Bedtime Explorers and Dinosnores are my two bedtime saving graces recently. If you need a bedtime assist, try these calming audio meditation stories for the little ones! One of my kiddos has a terrible time at going to sleep, with many meltdowns. We have tried everything, all the strategies. These stories have helped ease some of the bedtime stressors. They are awesome!
12. Talk to other parents and stay connected. Find your Dorothy, Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin-Man. Find your tribe to help you along the way. You all have gifts to share that will come in handy when you need them the most.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
Duluth is a Cool City, Most of the Time...
7/10/2018
An essay I delivered to the Chief of Police, City Council, and Mayor of Duluth.
Duluth is a cool city, in my opinion. I was born at St. Mary's Hospital in Duluth, Minnesota. I attended Chester Park Elementary, Woodland Middle School, and Central High School (all of which no longer exist). At least the college I graduated from with a degree in elementary education still stands strong. Go Bulldogs!
Duluth is breathtakingly beautiful, sprinkled with nature trails, and rests along the shores of Lake Superior. The heartbeat of that town pulses with every dedicated person who finds pride and joy in living there. The restaurants and breweries add pizzaz to the ambiance that already exists. And the cherry on top?! The music scene! Which I can proudly say I have been part of through UMD's Vocal Jazz program, and decades of playing and recording my own original music on stages all over that hill. I lived and breathed Duluth for years! From growing up in the schools and churches, to cashiering at grocery stores and serving tables in the restaurants, to teaching elementary and middle school, and coordinating programs at nonprofit organizations; I gave a lot of myself to that place. And yes, my social life was definitely a priority. It was my community and it raised me well. I have been away for over 8 years, but I proudly call it home.
For the first time in my life, I am unimpressed and disappointed in Duluth. Let's just get to the point?! Okay. My brother lost his job with the Duluth Police Department over a year ago for an incident with an excessive use of force. It's recently been released for public knowledge. It's not pretty. I don't agree with his split second decision. I think he would be the first to admit and agree that he could have made a better choice. Nothing about those few minutes is okay. And I understand, that the climate in our country with police brutality as at its peak. It's wrong. They have A LOT of work to do to make this right, and this situation is terrible timing. Almost like Duluth has to prove that they are fixing "the problem of police brutality." He made a mistake. We ALL make mistakes. But who is to throw the first stone? Do you want to know what else is terrible? How the media, the chief of police, and the city are portraying him to be a vindictive and bad cop. It is wrong how the facts are being fabricated and not the whole story is being told. They clearly have no idea who he is as a person and the values that he was raised in. They are slapping their own town in the face.
I vote democratic. I support Black Lives Matter. I believe the government shouldn't have control over women's rights. I believe anyone should be able to marry who they want. I was raised in a Catholic home. I respect all people no matter what they look like or where they came from and if they have different beliefs then I do. We are all in this together.
So now that you have a little of my history and background, my beliefs, and my upbringing in a valued town, I do not agree that this situation with officer Huot is being handled appropriately. It is being turned into a political and racial situation to prove something. What is it that they are trying to prove anyway? Please tell me! Because even though I do not agree with this one episode, I know this man has the city and the people in it, in his best interest.
And so, I have a lot of questions and comments. Why wasn't this civilian complying? Why did he get called in several times in the same night? Why didn't the other police officers step up and take action to help and support a fellow officer? Why are the facts of this story being told incorrectly? The city has the opportunity to show that they equally support the people who work there and live there, in all capacities.
This is about overall character. This is about values. Its about owning up our mistakes. Its about supporting and helping everyone in the community. Its about taking care of the people and the businesses. Its about respecting civilians and officers and children and elderly of all ethnicities and visitors to the town. I am ashamed that the police department is not supporting their own people. Isn't a year without pay and character assassination enough for pulling someone by the handcuffs who wouldn't comply? Why is it necessary to appeal the arbitrators decision to reinstate him and prolong this process and cost the city a ton of money? Isn't the arbitrators decision final? (So how do you really feel about unions?) What is happening with the chiefs actions to violate privacy clauses before the arbitration was finalized? How is an officer supposed to deal with the issues of soliciting, inebriation, and non compliance in the downtown district?
Yes, maybe I am bias. But when you walk through life with someone you KNOW has a warm heart, who is human and makes mistakes, and you see them being destroyed by political agendas, its disheartening. Especially when it is in the town I was born and raised in. I guess I don't know why Officer Huot would want to serve a town who thinks he is flawed and a threat to the community. But they have it backwards this time. It seems to me they have forgot about his positive work and involvement with the safety blueprint for domestic violence policy. Like the fact that he has a vice presidential coin for his work in this program. Or the fact that he saved a 22 year old woman's life from an overdose and resuscitated a man from cardiac arrest. What about that time he rescued people off of a terrible bus accident? Or the time he safely stopped a teenager from running into a school with a loaded gun. How about the fact that he kept his police car stocked with wrapped gifts for children on christmas in the event that he saw them over the holiday? Or the day to day encounters, sacrifices, and professionalism that he has contributed to the city for 9 years. Did you know that he is a family man? Or that he has volunteered in other countries to help communities around the world? Yeah, he is a malice and terrible man. Shit, fire his ass....
Then his gifts that you clearly don't see, can be served elsewhere!
An essay I delivered to the Chief of Police, City Council, and Mayor of Duluth.
Duluth is a cool city, in my opinion. I was born at St. Mary's Hospital in Duluth, Minnesota. I attended Chester Park Elementary, Woodland Middle School, and Central High School (all of which no longer exist). At least the college I graduated from with a degree in elementary education still stands strong. Go Bulldogs!
Duluth is breathtakingly beautiful, sprinkled with nature trails, and rests along the shores of Lake Superior. The heartbeat of that town pulses with every dedicated person who finds pride and joy in living there. The restaurants and breweries add pizzaz to the ambiance that already exists. And the cherry on top?! The music scene! Which I can proudly say I have been part of through UMD's Vocal Jazz program, and decades of playing and recording my own original music on stages all over that hill. I lived and breathed Duluth for years! From growing up in the schools and churches, to cashiering at grocery stores and serving tables in the restaurants, to teaching elementary and middle school, and coordinating programs at nonprofit organizations; I gave a lot of myself to that place. And yes, my social life was definitely a priority. It was my community and it raised me well. I have been away for over 8 years, but I proudly call it home.
For the first time in my life, I am unimpressed and disappointed in Duluth. Let's just get to the point?! Okay. My brother lost his job with the Duluth Police Department over a year ago for an incident with an excessive use of force. It's recently been released for public knowledge. It's not pretty. I don't agree with his split second decision. I think he would be the first to admit and agree that he could have made a better choice. Nothing about those few minutes is okay. And I understand, that the climate in our country with police brutality as at its peak. It's wrong. They have A LOT of work to do to make this right, and this situation is terrible timing. Almost like Duluth has to prove that they are fixing "the problem of police brutality." He made a mistake. We ALL make mistakes. But who is to throw the first stone? Do you want to know what else is terrible? How the media, the chief of police, and the city are portraying him to be a vindictive and bad cop. It is wrong how the facts are being fabricated and not the whole story is being told. They clearly have no idea who he is as a person and the values that he was raised in. They are slapping their own town in the face.
I vote democratic. I support Black Lives Matter. I believe the government shouldn't have control over women's rights. I believe anyone should be able to marry who they want. I was raised in a Catholic home. I respect all people no matter what they look like or where they came from and if they have different beliefs then I do. We are all in this together.
So now that you have a little of my history and background, my beliefs, and my upbringing in a valued town, I do not agree that this situation with officer Huot is being handled appropriately. It is being turned into a political and racial situation to prove something. What is it that they are trying to prove anyway? Please tell me! Because even though I do not agree with this one episode, I know this man has the city and the people in it, in his best interest.
And so, I have a lot of questions and comments. Why wasn't this civilian complying? Why did he get called in several times in the same night? Why didn't the other police officers step up and take action to help and support a fellow officer? Why are the facts of this story being told incorrectly? The city has the opportunity to show that they equally support the people who work there and live there, in all capacities.
This is about overall character. This is about values. Its about owning up our mistakes. Its about supporting and helping everyone in the community. Its about taking care of the people and the businesses. Its about respecting civilians and officers and children and elderly of all ethnicities and visitors to the town. I am ashamed that the police department is not supporting their own people. Isn't a year without pay and character assassination enough for pulling someone by the handcuffs who wouldn't comply? Why is it necessary to appeal the arbitrators decision to reinstate him and prolong this process and cost the city a ton of money? Isn't the arbitrators decision final? (So how do you really feel about unions?) What is happening with the chiefs actions to violate privacy clauses before the arbitration was finalized? How is an officer supposed to deal with the issues of soliciting, inebriation, and non compliance in the downtown district?
Yes, maybe I am bias. But when you walk through life with someone you KNOW has a warm heart, who is human and makes mistakes, and you see them being destroyed by political agendas, its disheartening. Especially when it is in the town I was born and raised in. I guess I don't know why Officer Huot would want to serve a town who thinks he is flawed and a threat to the community. But they have it backwards this time. It seems to me they have forgot about his positive work and involvement with the safety blueprint for domestic violence policy. Like the fact that he has a vice presidential coin for his work in this program. Or the fact that he saved a 22 year old woman's life from an overdose and resuscitated a man from cardiac arrest. What about that time he rescued people off of a terrible bus accident? Or the time he safely stopped a teenager from running into a school with a loaded gun. How about the fact that he kept his police car stocked with wrapped gifts for children on christmas in the event that he saw them over the holiday? Or the day to day encounters, sacrifices, and professionalism that he has contributed to the city for 9 years. Did you know that he is a family man? Or that he has volunteered in other countries to help communities around the world? Yeah, he is a malice and terrible man. Shit, fire his ass....
Then his gifts that you clearly don't see, can be served elsewhere!
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