No One Ever Told Me THAT Would Be Added To My Parenting Resume...

Pregnancy. Labor. Delivery. Beautiful baby.  And then...PaReNtHoOd.

This is for those of you in it.  This is for those of you who have been there.  This is for all the parents;  that moment when you say to yourself "no one ever told me it would be like this."

We read the books, skim articles, and attend classes to prepare.  Our parents, family, and friends with babies tell us how it is. But let's be honest.  All of the nitty, gritty, and personal shit we deal with as parents is figured out in the heat of the moment. We acquire skills we didn't know we had.  We live.  We grow.  We become fully capable of almost any job because we are loaded with experiences and our resume is STACKED with expertise!

Here is a list of the skills, strengths, and credentials that you acquire in this career as a parent!

1.  Congratulations, you are entertainer of the year!  You could be the new ringmaster of the Cirque Du Soleil, Beyonce's new choreographer, or Taylor Swifts song writer.  I mean, you are basically doing acrobatics and juggling life throughout the day.  You are bouncing around to new dance routines to get baby to sleep.  And new melodies pop in your head on the spot to get your kids to smile.  You should be nominated for a grammy for the lyrics you just whipped together about bath and pajama time.  Too bad your number one fan is that little bundle in your arms and can't call the big wigs to recommend you for the job.  You SHOULD receive the award.

2.  You are now the Chief Executive Officer of Household.  You are ultimately responsible for day-to-day management decisions and implementing long and short term plans.  You build the culture in your company and provide the resources for success.  You own a vision, set the goals, and you lead your team.  Congrats on your hard work, CEO!

3.  Ninja Warrior. How many times of have had to quietly sneak out of your sleeping childs room configuring your body in uncomfortable positions so you don't wake them up?!  That's what I thought!  You are stealth on your feet,  you would fight for your child if in danger, and you learn how to guide/discipline/teach your child with words rather than violent alternatives.  Do you master self control in moments when you didn't think you could before children entered your world?! You are a ninja!

4. Welcome to the life of a detective. You interrogate your suspects and interview your witnesses based on the evidence before you. When was the last time you pooped? Who ate the last slice of pizza?  How did the lamp break? Where on earth are the toddlers shoes? What time did you actually go to bed? How did my cell phone end up in the toilet? You are solving mysteries and investigating situations all. day. long.

5.  Mixologist at your finest. If you are a nursing mother, you are serving your child the most fresh and delicious cocktail straight out of the tap!  Your body is making one hell of a drink.  Non nursing mothers and fathers and other care takers know the perfect proportions of formula to the temperature of the liquid for the perfect beverage.  They know how long to shake it and how to serve it perfectly for the liking of the consumer.  All parents know how to mix and muddle and stir and serve all while presenting it with love... and then they top it off with a night cap for themselves to enjoy.

(Since resume's should not be longer than two pages max, i better stop here.   However, I believe a parents resume could fit into the Guinness Book of World Records.)

Just know this parents:  Your hard work is seen, it is felt, it is recognized. It may not seem like to now, but all of your time and energy spent at this job will pay off.  Keep up the good work. Each day you add another profession to the list. What will it be tomorrow?!  I just wish I could add professional sleeper to the record...

Trippin' With Toddlers: On the Road and Over My Words

"Did that just really happen?!"  That was the first question I asked myself when I woke up in my own bed (the first morning I was home) after embarking on a 24 day road trip out west with my husband and 22 month old daughter.  I don't know if I was expecting to open my eyes in my tent or in the van, but I was home, and "business as usual" was already in full force.  As I jumped back in to work, my lovely co-workers and friends were asking what any thoughtful human would ask... "How was your vacation?"  How do I answer that in one short phrase?  I just drove across our country breathing in mountain air, dipping my toes in the ocean, and hiking trails that had waterfalls waiting at the end.  We biked on famous bridges, hugged redwood trees, and spent time with family and friends. So I answered... "It was an incredible trip."  TRIP.  NOT a vacation...

I guess my idea of a vacation is laying on a beach drinking a cocktail, or reading a book in a hammock in the woods.  Vacation reminds me of rest and relaxation.  Driving 6,700 miles and 120 + hours in the car with a toddler isn't exactly a vacation.  Setting up camp, cooking, cleaning, dishes, packing up camp, and moving to the next location ins't exactly restful with a toddler.  But someone asked me another question that brought a little more meaning to this whole experience.  " Would you do it again tomorrow?"  My Response?!  "No, but I would next week!  I need some time on my couch."  

I think I am still wonderfully exhausted.  Life on the road is quite the trip! New scenery every couple of days.  New faces, elevations, food, trails, cities and experiences.   Before we left, a few people couldn't believe we were about to take a cross country road trip with a toddler.  "What about her routine?  What will you do in the car?  How will she do camping in a tent?"  These were just a few of the dozen concerning questions I got asked when telling people what we were about to do.

Honestly, the best part for us was getting out of a routine and moving to our own beat.  Creating a rythym as a family.  Seeing each other in a different light, different setting, and a different schedule as we followed the setting sun each day.  

It was an incredible trip. Partly because of watching our daughter grow and learn along the way.  She learned about new landforms, animals, plants, and wild berries.  She played in streams, rivers, waterfalls and the ocean.  She hiked and biked and camped.  She LOVED the hammock!   As far as the car goes, we had bins of books, play-doh, stickers, coloring materials, toys with batteries, puzzles, magnets, music, pipe cleaners, a dozen car activities... and some technology as a last resort.  It all made the time in the car go by much smoother with all of that planning. 

It was also slightly trying for us all.  It was not ALL fabulous (mostly fabulous).  She had moments of boredom.  She had nights of teething.  The change of her routine took some adjusting.  She threw a tantrum.  She woke the neighbors in the middle of the night while camping in Yosemite.  I had my moments of anxiety and exhaustion... partly from her neediness.  

BUT,  those challenges would have happened at home or on the road.  Changes in routine come up all the time in life.  Toddlers grow teeth.  Moms' have moments of worry. Why would I let those frustrating normalities stop us from hitting the road?  exactly... I didn't.  We just did it. And it was worth all of the hard work.... before, during, and after.

If you are  questioning a trip with your children, I highly encourage you to do it!  It doesn't have to be an extravagant event for your children and family to experience the beauty of this earth. Take a camping trip down the road.  Spend a day hiking or biking just outside of your town.  Start where you are comfortable and go for it.  You might surprise yourself... your kids might surprise you too.  Let go of the usual routine and find a new flow as a family for a bit. You'll grow.

  It's worth it!