Mama... You've Got This!

For the past couple of years I have spent every Wednesday lunch time gathering with new mamas.  I facilitate a New Mama's Group at Blooma and support these beautiful women on their journey as moms.  Some ladies come for months at a time, some attend while they are on maternity leave, and others just swing in to get out of the house for the day and connect with others on a similar voyage.  It's a sacred time.  The time when we transition to a new lifestyle, a new role, and transform into a parent all while balancing ourselves, our sanity, and holding onto our individuality before these little souls entered into our life.  

As I am preparing for baby number two to arrive in January, I reflect upon all the goodness, rawness, realness, and honesty that these moms who have passed through our doors have shared and given.  Several conversations come to mind.  Many topics that are pure reality for us in the heat of mamahood.  I have shared a lot.  I have learned a lot.  

This is a reminder to us all:  Mama, you've got this! 

~ You are your baby's advocate.  You know what it is best for you, your baby, and your family.  Trust your gut and have confidence in the choices you make! 

~ We don't know how we are going to feel about "all things mama" until we arrive in the heat of it all.   From feeding our babies, to relationships changes, to decisions about going back to work and childcare, to co-sleeping or not... it's okay to change your mind.  It's okay to say yes.  It's okay to say no.  Do what you need to do for YOU.  Do what is best for your sanity.  

~Breathe!  Take 2 minutes:  Close your eyes and let them become heavy.  Soften your jaw and drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth.  Let go of any gripping in your throat and drop your shoulders down a little farther.  Take 3 big breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.   Take 3 more balanced breaths and feel your breath flow evenly in and out.  Think of one thing you are grateful for.  Open your eyes.  This can TOTALLY hit your reset button!

~ You are going to get asked this question by EVERYONE:  "How is the baby sleeping?"  It is like the gateway to conversation about all things baby and it drives me crazy.  Babies have no routine in the beginning of their life.  They eat, poop, pee, sleep, watch the fan on the ceiling...repeat.   Just remember, babies run the show and they are working SO HARD to do all those things.  So when grandma asks how they are sleeping,  just tell them "like a baby." ( It was YEARS ago for grandma... they forget what its like, but I know all intentions are in the right place.) 

~ When your partner comes home from work and asks you " How was your day?"  Ask them in return "which part?"  Because some days you feel like 3 days have happened in 1, and you can't believe they are FINALLY home.  Each minute can bring on a new emotion, a new challenge, a new moment of gratitude.  One minute we are so frustrated, and the next so cozy we wouldn't want it any other way. This is when you focus on your accomplishments for that day.  Maybe you get to go to the bathroom alone!  Maybe you made lunch AND put the dishes away.  I mean, you fed your baby 8 times and changed 6 diapers and bounced them around the house for 3 hours and got them to nap for 30 minutes.  AND you even got to brush your teeth.  You have succeeded immensely! 

~ Do 1 thing a day to fill you up!  Take a shower, call a friend, have a glass of wine, take a nap, go to your favorite store alone, walk around the neighborhood, listen to your favorite album, read a book, go on a date with the father/mother of your baby, shave your legs... ANYTHING to make you feel like you! 

~ You are NOT alone.   Mothers all over the world are doing exactly what you are doing.  The image of moms in every corner of the world doing what we are doing is so powerful.  Remember to hold onto the strength and support of mothers that surround you. 

~ One step at a time. One moment at at time. Nothing is permanent. You've got this!